And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
