I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You can't motorboat a personality
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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