discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
