Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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