fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
