I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
