hotel room ftw
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
