1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
