I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
