oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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