Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
