Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
