yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
