Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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