kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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