Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
