i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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