My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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