I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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