I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
a search helicopter?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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