after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
