apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
