Plan B is the new Plan A
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize