so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have fence marks all over my body
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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