sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
