think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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