I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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