Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
