I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
