Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
