im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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