oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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