I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
well you can't waste a boner
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize