Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
