so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
