overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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