I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
