3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
