I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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