Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
