that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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