Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
