She said her name was "party"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
