Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
