Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize