what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...