i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.