Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level