Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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(618): View more from Illinois

so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?

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(907): View more from Alaska

We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(801): View more from Utah

Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking

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(518): View more from New York

You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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(815): View more from Illinois

Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Did I see you at the bar last night?

(317): View more from Indiana

Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...

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