Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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