Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
