she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
