I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
