doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
