So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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