I never want to see another naked old woman again.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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